December,1st,2011
thurseday
Mood: Scared, confused
Dear,journal
I went to church yesterday morning had a really good time and then slept most of the day i havnt been sleeping to well lately. Anyhow i went to church last night and i took tyson with me. He asked me out and u know how i am with the word no. so ya im stuck with him entell he breaks up with me. Anyhow like i was saying i went to church with him last night trying to make him keep up with me so i could say hi to my friends and i could have sworn i got some dirty looks from a few peaple who will remain nameless. but what did i do? were they really looking at me? i think so cause when i tryed to talk to them after service they pretty much avoided me. God i screw up everything!!! I dont want to lose my church family they are everything to me besides God and my kids. Is it just me? is there something about me that just naturally pisses peaple off? I dont understand how God can let me be here when ii ruin everything. Why cant he just answer my prayers and take me in my sleep? Im useless anyhow! What the Hell's the point?! Ugh!!! well headed off to another crappy day without my kids not to mention no church which might be a good thing after last night who knows im probably fricken over reacting. But whatever bye.
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